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What is Spoon Theory? What is Fork Theory?
TL;DR: Spoon Theory is a tool people use to notice how much energy they have and how much energy certain activities cost them. When someone is out of spoons, they need to rest. Fork Theory is about stressors: each stressor throughout the day is a fork. When you have too many forks, you need to remove them by processing or removing some stressors before doing anything else. Spoon and Fork Theories were created within the chronic illness and neurodivergent communities, respectively, but they can be helpful to anyone.
Spoon Theory states that we have a given amount of energy, or spoons, to use on activities throughout our day; when we are out of energy or spoons, we need to rest (or we may suffer sometimes-severe consequences like symptom flare-ups). While the concept seems basic, it offers a number of communities, including the chronic illness and neurodivergent communities, an accessible tool to explain how even "basic" tasks cost energy, how their energy ebbs and flows throughout the day, and how they are impacted by their unique condition(s).
Spoon Theory can be helpful to people outside of these communities as well. Especially in the US, I've noticed people tend not to think about their energy or capacity until they are fresh out or even in the negative. Spoon Theory offers an accessible way to think about our energy throughout the day so that we can more consciously budget it and maybe even leave some energy for ourselves.
Spoon theory history
Spoon Theory was first used by writer and chronically ill person Christine Miserandino in 2003 to describe her experience with lupus to friends at dinner. She used spoons at the table to model how much energy she had (more energy=more spoons). She then explained that certain activities cost energy, or take spoons.
For instance, one might start the day with ten spoons; getting ready for the day might take two spoons; working out might take three; and working a job may take the remaining five. So at lunch time, finding oneself out of spoons, the person needs to rest. Once spoons are gone, there may or may not be a way to get more for the day, depending on the person.
Some people may find it helpful to think of the sizes of the spoons too. Activities like getting out of bed might cost one small spoon, while activities like making breakfast might cost one larger spoon. For some people, especially visual thinkers, imagining spoon size, rather than number of spoons, can be helpful.
Why spoon theory matters in the chronic illness community
Spoon Theory often helps people with chronic illnesses, disabilities, and dynamic disabilities explain how their condition(s) impact their lives. This is incredibly valuable because our experiences can be poorly understood by others outside the community for various reasons. Trying to explain our experiences can be difficult, and people may find it confusing.
Let's take me for example. Showering may cost a more-or-less able-bodied person two spoons. For me, with having Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (or POTS), showering costs many spoons, and I often have to rest after showering. Telling someone that showering costs me seven spoons, on average, while it only costs them two, can help them understand in a more tangible way the different ways in which my life is impacted by chronic illness.
Spoon Theory can also help people understand their own experiences better. When I first got sick, I couldn't understand why showering was so much easier some days than others. Then, I realized that I avoided showering on days when I needed to wash my hair -- and on those days, showering cost way more spoons than on other days (and it cost way more spoons than I had, usually). Spoon Theory provided me with a better way to understand my energy and how to budget it so that I can still have enough spoons to wash my hair when I have to (and so much more!).
Spoon Theory in other communities
Neurodivergent community
The neurodivergent community has also adopted spoon theory to a significant extent, especially on social media. Many folx with Autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, trauma, and other mental health conditions have found that Spoon Theory is helpful.
Spoon Theory can be used to explain how someone who experiences depression may find most tasks more expensive across the board, while someone with ADHD may have to spend more spoons on tasks they aren't interested in. Or switching tasks, especially away from a task they are hyperfixated on, may cost many more spoons. Meanwhile, let's say someone with trauma is triggered by driving on a certain stretch of freeway. Completing that part of their drive will likely cost them more spoons than it would cost someone who doesn't have similar trauma.
Caregivers & parents
Spoon Theory has also been picked up by caregiving communities, such as parents. Many parents find themselves constantly running on empty. It can be hard to know when or if it is time to take a rest. But with Spoon Theory, someone can keep an eye on their spoons throughout the day, and they may learn what feeling nearly out of spoons feels like. This may allow people to take better care of themselves and allow other people to take better care of them, as they can better explain what they are experiencing.
Especially on social media, people who use Spoon Theory might refer to themselves as “spoonies” (such a cute word!).
What is Fork Theory then?
Fork Theory was a 2018 add-on to Spoon Theory from Jen Rose, who is chronically ill and neurodivergent. Fork Theory was designed to help folx in the neurodivergent community, although it had immediate applicability to other communities too, including the chronic illness community.
(Ok, I know it's a knife in here, but let's pretend it's a fork)
Fork Theory represents stressors. It states that, although we may have a certain number of spoons, we have limits on the number of stressors we can take, regardless of our spoon situation. If too many forks accumulate, we need to melt down, talk to a friend, rest, or find another way to remove forks before we do anything else. No matter how many spoons we have, if we have too many forks, there is no way forward until we can remove some forks.
For instance, maybe you have an interaction at work that triggers a past trauma, and your nervous system frays a bit, and you don't have time to process it. Maybe the lunch you brought to work gives you the ick, so you spend the afternoon feeling munchy. Maybe you also have a headache. And something you're wearing is a sensory nightmare. Although you have enough spoons left to finish working, shower, cook for yourself, and complete other physical tasks, the many forks that cut into your soft pear of a day need to be gently excised before you can move forward.
Fork Theory add-ons
There have been a number of truly delightful add-ons to Fork Theory. Some people, for example, started calling combined Spoon & Fork Theory “Spork Theory.” Other people thought of adding a plate or a whole dish into the metaphor to represent structural support, like the number of foods that can absorb fork stabs, and other ways we can adjust our meals to be able to eat even with limited or tiny spoons (for instance, a drinkable soup requires no utensils).
Last Notes
Spoon Theory is a tool I have offered a number of clients. So many people find themselves running on empty, and we all deserve to save a little for ourselves at the end of the day. While Spoon Theory may not be helpful to everyone, and it won't fix everything, you can try it on and see how it fits, whether you're chronically ill, neurodivergent, or just curious.
